|1. You can have the blues in New York
City, but not in Syosset or Albany.
Hard times in Maine or North Dakota are just a depression.
Chicago, St. Louis and Kansas City are still the best places to have the blues.
2. Most blues begin "woke up this morning."
3. "I got a good woman" is a bad way to begin the blues, unless you stick something ugly or nasty in the next line.
I got a good woman-- with the ugliest dog in town.
4. Blues are simple. After you have
the first line right, repeat it.
Got a good woman with the ugliest dog
in town. (repeat)
5. The blues are not about limitless choice.
6. Blues cars are Chevies and Cadillacs.
7. Teenagers can't sing the blues. Adults sing the blues. Blues adulthood means old enough to get the electric chair if you shoot a man in Memphis.
8. The following colors do not belong
in the blues:
9. You can't have the blues in an office or a shopping mall; the lighting is wrong.
10. Good places for the Blues:
11. Do you have the right to sing the blues?
12. Neither Julio Inglesias nor Barbra Streisand can sing the blues.
13. If you ask for water and baby gives
you gasoline, it's the blues.
Blues beverages are NOT:
14. If it occurs in a cheap motel or
a shotgun shack, it's blues death.
15. Some Blues names for Women
16. Some Blues Names for Men
Persons with names like Tiffany, Lawrence
or Moonunit will not be permitted
17. Other Blues Names (Starter Kit...Mix